The yogi who left her corporate job - part 2

What I hope you got from part 1 is that overworking does not equal being productive and successful unless perhaps there’s love. And I would also add that besides love in the equation, there should also be a holistic approach to one’s wealth (which in my language is equal to wellness plus health).

The truth is I’m not the only one who thinks this because companies themselves are moving towards better working hours and providing more benefits to their employees. When your employees are tired, they either get sick or they get sick and tired of your bullshit work that they quit. I may sound harsh but it’s true. The illness I’m talking about isn’t always represented in the way society views illness as realness. We don’t pay enough attention to people’s mental health, emotional health and energetic health.  We expect women to take 3 months of maternity leave and we think that that’s okay. We have women with so many miscarriages and not enough “time” to recuperate from the loss that just happened. We only think that there’s one aspect of health and that is physical health. If you can crawl to work with a cold, then crawl your way through because you and your role are easily replaceable and if you don’t do the work someone else will. That’s what you’ve been told at least. 

However even the physical part we can’t nurture properly. We have found so many ways of disrespecting our bodies. We continue pushing, we continue forcing and pursuing instead of actually just being. We find new ways of addiction and countless ways of justifying our addictions. I’m not talking about drug and alcohol addictions only, I’m talking food addiction, caffeine addiction, Netflix addiction, clothes addictions, the unforgiving nature is an addiction, the unforgetting nature is an addiction, your stories are your addictions, who you claim yourself to be is also an addiction. Because if suddenly all those things were taken away, would you be able to know who you are? Would you finally see the divinity that’s always been there to begin? Things fall apart, you fall apart, so you can finally recognize what has always been there and what will always be there: loving awareness, God, source, the universe. 

I didn’t get to where I am today if it wasn’t for the experience I myself had working a corporate job.  I’m lucky enough and incredibly grateful to have experienced this type of job, on a much less intense scale. I know for a fact that it wasn’t so bad compared to so many others who have suffered greatly. There are many roles in countless firms that have pushed their employees to burnout. We all know what happens when the internal fire is either completely out or out of control. People get sick, people are misaligned, people are not feeling their best. This out of balance lifestyle impacts communities. When people don’t feel their best, when they are not at their best, performing at their best, there’s a lot of lethargy floating around in the air. This type of emotion is heavy and whether you believe it to be true or not, many people are either lethargic or angry or jealous. And it’s not that those feelings are bad per say, it’s when we don’t look at these feelings and we suppress them for a long time that they can damage a person’s health and the health of society overall.

I also want to add that I don’t believe that there shouldn’t be any lethargy or anger or jealousy in the world, ever. I’m simply saying that we cannot have a big majority of the world not following their dreams because of preconditioned notions. We can’t have people working jobs they hate if we can’t teach them how to tolerate their jobs and shift their perspectives. We have an outdated education system and a belief that life has to be so damn difficult. I’m not saying to be lazy and to not have intentions or to not have dreams. In fact, I’m asking you to do the opposite. I’m asking you to see everything as your responsibility and what I mean by responsibility is this: be responsible for your life. Take ownership of it. Be a decision maker. Integrate yourself to life fully. Be as engaged with people as you possibly can. Give your attention, your awareness to what is at hand, what is at task. If it’s a job you don’t love but really you don’t see a way out, and that can happen, you have to learn how to shift your perspective until the fog clears up and you can finally walk that road again with more clarity than before.

I remember working at my corporate job so clearly. I would wake up at 7am, get on my yoga mat for an hour before heading to work. In the office by 8:45-9am, I would have to sit at my desk until 6,7,8, sometimes 11. I’m not going to exaggerate and say that I stayed passed 7:30 so many times. I did not. Not because I didn’t have to but because I didn’t want to. I wanted to go to that yoga class, spend time with my family and friends, unwind. Unwind from the fact that I sat down on a chair in front of 3 screens for hours, sometimes without speaking to anyone throughout my day. 

Work emails always had to be answered. Lunch was mostly at my desk. I remember trying to sneak out sometimes to get food because I knew the workload was heavy and I would be told to have someone grab food for me. I didn’t understand the concept of having to immediately answer all emails, at any time of the day, and on weekends or holidays. I didn’t understand how I could not take a 1-hour break for lunch. I did not get why I had to bring my work laptop with me on vacation and do work. It was torture to have to conform to all those rules and regulations. From the very beginning, I could not picture myself in the shoes of my bosses. The sacrifices I was going to have to make for that job were too grand for me. I did not want to give up my life for a job, especially if I was not even in love with it in the first place.  However, I did not have anything to leave this job for. Yoga was still a hobby and I did not know of any other possibilities. And this was a good thing because it taught me to engage in my work more because I knew that resisting what was happening was only going to enhance my suffering. So, I participated and conformed to the rules, to these obligations for a little while, while I let my passions nest. 

Now I know I’m not the only one who went through this. Some of you still are working that kind of job, and I respect you so much for it. I just couldn’t do it anymore. If I’m being honest, I wasn’t “doing it” properly even when I had the job. Not fully at least. Not full heartedly.  I didn’t understand what all the fuss was about, truly I didn’t. I got angry when I missed my 7.30 Wednesday yoga class. I was sad when it was Friday night and I didn’t see the light of day, or didn’t breathe in any fresh air. I would get “déjà vu” moments because everything became so repetitive, so mundane. I was getting flashbacks of the same moment, happening over and over again. 

As I was getting more into my yoga journey, I had several epiphanies where I realized it was all a choice. It was my choice to be there. It was my choice to stay there. When I shifted my perspective from “I have to do this” to “I chose to do this”, moments that felt suffocating and frustrating, suddenly started to feel peaceful. I did not care so much that I was in the office at 7.30pm on a Friday evening. It was my choice. When we see our circumstances as a choice and not an obligation, we suddenly feel a weight lift off our shoulders. We are not forced to do anything in life. I had the choice to leave that type of work environment and to pave my own way. I had seen it done before by those I looked up to and if others could do it, I knew I could to. It is also important for me to note that I am privileged in a lot of ways. I’ve had continuous support from my parents and I wouldn’t have been able to do all this if it wasn’t for them and I never want to take that for granted.