Inner Security vs. Insecurity

I get a little impatient. Impatient about things taking too long to manifest and to come to fruition. It’s rooted in feeling insecure when you think about it. I am impatient because I am afraid that my security relies on my unmanifested dreams. My wellbeing relies on a future illusion that I will be safer tomorrow than I am today. It is dependent on whether or not I acquire certain things I desire. There are many things that have not yet made an appearance and somehow, I believe that having them will make me more protected. 

When we look at the chakra system, impatience is an imbalance in the root chakra. This first chakra is located at the base of the spine and is responsible for feeling grounded and connected to earth. It gives us a sense of belonging, of feeling safe and secure. For many of us, this energy center tends to be out of balance. Just take a look at how much more we are prone to hoarding, shopping, and overconsuming everything we have ever created. I am not immune to this myself. 

In this first part, I’ll be sharing 3 steps on how to overcome your feelings of insecurity so you feel more inner security. The truth is, our world is never really going to be secure in the way that we have defined it to be. If we wait for the world to become secure, we will be waiting a long time and unfortunately, we wouldn’t have lived our lives to the fullest. We need to learn how to build up our inner security and feel less insecure about insecurity. Once we do so, we will have not only empowered ourselves but we will bring others up with us too. 

1.     Accept that life is insecure 

Acceptance is always the first key to overcoming anything. Without acceptance, there is resistance. With resistance comes more of what you don’t want to see happening. So, this first step is actually a stepping stone to all of the following ones. 

Accept that insecurities are common among people everywhere. It touches most people and it doesn’t need to be seen as something that is negative necessarily.  It isn’t only you that is feeling insecure. Even the most confident person feels insecure sometimes. If it’s not an insecurity about their physical appearance, then it’s an insecurity about their money and prestige. If it isn’t their social class, it could be achievement related. If it’s not related to what they have accomplished, then it’s about whether or not they have a family yet. Trust me, I have heard all different types of insecurities (I have plenty of my own too)

Another reason one feels insecure is because of the fear of death. This is always the root cause of most of our fears: our death and the death of loved ones.  When you accept that this is a fact of life and not a possibility that only happens to some and not to others, you begin to move beyond this fear.  

Quoting a controversial spiritual teacher Osho “ No -- nothing is secure. That is my message. Nothing can be secure, because a secure life will be worse than death. Nothing is certain. Life is full of uncertainties, full of surprises - - that is its beauty! You can never come to a moment when you can say, "Now I am certain." When you say you are certain, you simply declare your death, you have committed suicide. 

Now that we got this out of the way, we can focus more on building inner security.

2.     Be your own best friend forever 

 Even though the external world is insecure and you’ve come to accept that, it doesn’t mean you can’t grow your inner security. Whenever we’re dealing with the internal world, it’s important to like its landscape. What I mean is, you have to like how you speak to yourself. You have to be loving towards yourself because in a world that is going to be harsh towards you sometimes, you have to at least care for you the way you would a loved one. 

We all have demons that live within our heads. Like imaginary monsters living under our beds, or hiding in our closets, these demons in our minds are also imaginary. We can either realise that if we decide to bring ourselves down, we are living in separation to source energy. When we don’t recognise our own light, we are literally vibrating against the Creator’s energy. Be willing to see yourself as the light being that you really are. Learn to be your number 1 cheerleader. Want yourself to win. Acknowledge that you have been through a whirlwind of a journey. You may have drowned a few times, or you may believe others tried to suffocate you. Either way, your soul is suffering and it is time to cultivate a flourishing garden in your mind and body. 

By being your own best friend, you begin to ask yourself these important questions:

• Who am I?

• What do I like?

• What is important to me?

• What do I want to do with my life? What am I good at? 

Keep going with this practice. This is a lifelong process, not an overnight recipe. You can’t expect things to change immediately so be gentle, very gentle with yourself. 

3.     Be honest about your own limitations 

In all aspects of your life, be honest with yourself. Self-honesty is not something we are very good at doing for some reason. However only by making a sincere assessment of what is blocking you, repressing you, and holding you back, can you move beyond feeling insecure. You may wonder what does this have to do with feeling secure? Well most of the time, the things we are scared of in life are the very things we are meant to be doing. 

In my case, I was terrified of speaking my truth. I was scared of speaking out loud generally. The fact that I did not use my voice kept me feeling very insecure. I could not participate in conversations the way I wanted to. I couldn’t share my thoughts in classrooms because I was afraid of what others thought of me. I did not want to be seen that I purposely played small to “safe”. Ironically, playing safe doesn’t make you feel safe. Only by working on opening up my throat chakra was I able to overcome this limitation and in turn, started to feel more secure about who I am and what I want to share.  

Ask yourself and journal about these questions:

1.     What are my limited beliefs? 

2.     What is my story? What do I feel is blocking me to fulfil my destiny?  

When we were younger, we truly believed we could conquer the world but things happened and we stopped believing in ourselves. We had a few “bad” experiences and we’ve closed ourselves off from truly expressing ourselves. In the next post I’ll be sharing a few other ways to help you overcome insecurities. I hope you enjoyed reading these steps and if you have any comments, please do share them with me!